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bballchic34 30, Female, Minnesota, USA - 3 entries

Oct 2007
4:08 PM EDT

omg i can't belive that she said that i mean on day shes all perky and the next pppppppppphhhhhhhhhtttttt

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scarlett 36, Female, Bahamas - 161 entries

Oct 2007
1:19 PM EDT

oh, did i mention 22 hours back?

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scarlett 36, Female, Bahamas - 161 entries

Oct 2007
1:18 PM EDT

so. 20 hours on a bus. i met many, many interesting people. I arrived in binghamton early and, when I called connor, he was still asleep and suggested that I find my own way to the college. ok. it's a damn good thing that i am not him and am therefore self-sufficient.i knew that he didn't want to figure it out and i certainly didn't want camden to have to get out of bed to come get me. i caught a cab and half way through the ride connor calls: offering to call a cab company. i tell him i'll be there in 10 mins or so. i arrive at the door in 10 mins. i text him and he takes another 10 mins to get ready and come see me. and i love him. and hugging him was the best thing id done in months. i had a wonderful time and i didnt want it to end. (except for one occasion where he alluded to the fact that hehad sex witherin...and it really wasn't necessary to bring it up). he was so sweet and he took very good care of me. we fit back together like we used to. and yet, im still conflicted. very conflicted. i love him so (so) much. but he seems so young. he so scaredaround others and so effing full of himself when we are alone. for someone who is too afraid to ask his brother to take him to walmart, he sure inflicted quite a few bruises on me. ....what am i saying? gah, wtf is wrong with me? this just doesn't make sense. i don't make sense. my whole life aches right now and i just can't quite poking it to see if it still hurts.

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itsjustme 46, Female, Texas, USA - 37 entries

Oct 2007
3:46 AM CST

I feel like I am way in over my head.

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Diane 48, Female, Iowa, USA - 26 entries

Oct 2007
4:43 AM CDT

PC 0.4

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prissy 47, Female, Hawaii, USA - 75 entries

Oct 2007
11:14 AM HAST

... Answer: I don't know.And I don't care right now. All I want to do is put my thoughts down on paper... e-paper.

So I know in my heart I'm not ready to settle down with anyone. Or be anyone's girlfriend. I want to be free to bring closure to some issues in my life.
And in the meantime, just have a good time, sex and all.
I think I kinda have a steady sex-partner. That would be Robin. I like his style of sex. And there's absolutely no strings attached. He's from freaking London. They do things the way a free spirit should! So it works out just fine... And I think he likes me a little.

Steve on the other hand, is ready for a full-blown relationship. Plus he's pretty messed up himself, so in a weird irony of sorts he's the only one I take advice from. And he's good in bed!

Neither Steve nor Robin are realistically ready to settle down with anyone. And we're talking girlfriend or wife.
So they're really in my category of "being with".

I have to moan the loss of Dean. My dean. I thought we were soulmates. But that didn't work the way I expected. Not one bit!
I think that maybe in a way I was using him for my own benefit. And in the process I started to care. The deathly caring for a guy that you like. Oh God! It's a disease, an epidemic. Then they start to grow on you, and that's all you think about. Then you convince yourself that you and he were meant to be. And you're really settling for second best. Not again! Never! I'd rather be alone, and miserable than go down that path again.

So I dreamed about John last night. That we were sort of friends again. That's not realistic. But maybe, once we were legally divorced it would be easier to get along with each other. So the possibility is there.
Then this evening I filed a motion for publication. Soon it'll be in the papers, then a hearing, and then it'll all be over. I'll be free. I won't have to lie anymore. Or at least those are the rules I set for myself. I don't really have to lie at all. It's just a matter of getting over myself.

I'm letting go. I'm setting myself free. Free to fly. Fly with the rest of the loners. Fly high, till you can't fly anymore.

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brokenheart07 45, Female, Ohio, USA - 6 entries

Oct 2007
5:07 PM EDT

My life is a mess. Going through my second divorce, it's been over a year and still it is not final, getting closer but no cigar. Why do we live in such a world where it's so hard to find a decent man? Why is it that I can't find onenormal, loving, caringman out of the millions of menin this world?

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TheChaplain 77, Male, Florida, USA - First entry!

Oct 2007
3:44 PM EDT

Would you like some really good news? They next time you pray take an equal amount of time to quietly listen for His answer. the Lord loves to Bless His children.

TheChaplain

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Mallarie13 34, Female, Canada - 7 entries

Oct 2007
3:04 PM EDT

Wow my first entry well im suprised i never
really use journals, ugg ive a little head ache (i was thinking without my glasses)what a buissy week i have but its better then haveing nothing to do(i seriously would go insane).
OMG i just got called into work i dont mind but i have to miss karate

and its fighting night oh well more money.

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devildevon 30, Female, California, USA - 7 entries

Oct 2007
2:46 PM EDT

wow!!!it has been a really long long long time since i have written in u the last time I wrote on this was in like febuary!!!!!!!! Well of course my life is so awesome!!!!!!!! I don't like aaron anymore... I have the best boyfriend anyone could ask for!!!He is so sweet and I love him. His name is Brandon and yes we are still dating!!!!!! I know really long time he asked me out on I think January 25 or 26,2007 one of them and today is October 16,2007 9 months and something days but anyways he loves me so much!!! I was goin to kiss him today but I just well u know I kinda chickened out Thank God He Didnt Know About The Kiss!!!!!!! It was going to be a surprize!!!I would have been so embarresed if he knew and then I chickened out. Well a lot has gone by. I'm in the 7th grade my best friends from Dingeman are at the Marshall and by the way they just built a new one. Yipee... so me and the rest of the 7th, 6th, and 8th grade are all new!!! Me, Maria, and Hadeel were not really friends anymore because of this huge fight on myspace and all that shit but anyways... were just aquantinces I love my new and old friends. I have a really heathey life its perfect well thats all I can say soya

dev

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